on the first day of the 30 Rock Tour...

my good friends gave to me
a VeggieTales calendar!


So last night, Joe and I were watching 24, which we had recorded, of course. It's 9:35, and there is a knock at the door. Knowing that only crazy people knock on the door at that hour and that we are somewhat suspicious people by nature, Joe answers it. On the doorstep sits a giant box, wrapped with a bow on top. He stands there for a moment, looks around the corner, and says, "It's for you." So I went to the door, and there stand Ashlee, Tami, and Lisa, surrounding the giant box.

Did you know that today begins the 30 day countdown until my 30th birthday? I didn't. My friends did. So what did they bring me?



A giant box of toilet paper!


Not really. It is actually full of presents with numbered sticky notes! And today was day number one.


And this present proves just how well my friends know me. . . first that I get a VeggieTales calendar every year and second that I hadn't gotten one this year.

Now all of you get to celebrate 30 days of my birthday with me!

In other news, the children and I got to have lunch with my mom today during her layover on her way back from California. We ate at Godfather's Pizza. Did you know that in second grade I was friends with the son of the CEO of Godfather's Pizza? Well, I was.

In other other news, at least 2, maybe 3 out of 4 children have ear infections. Awesome.

dirty little secrets

There are a few things no one ever tells you about having a baby (and no, none of these are things I'm figuring out for the first time).

1. Your hair may start falling out after the baby is born. By the handfuls. It's gross. It gets everywhere. (It will come back, but you will start to wonder just how much hair can fall out.)

2. In the beginning, breastfeeding hurts. Like nothing you can imagine.

3. You will feel schizophrenic or bipolar or something. Somehow you have to achieve a balance of patience and calm during the times you have to feed or rock or otherwise entertain the baby and then find the motivation and opportunity to work as fast as you can during the brief periods of time the baby is sleeping or content to get as much done as possible.

4. You will probably only find any time to yourself if you forgo sleep.

I know it sounds like it, but I'm really not complaining. I'm actually pretty good at dealing with reality. But sometimes you step back and look at it and wonder at the reality.

pop quiz

image by Paul Carlson, from http://sprott.physics.wisc.edu/fractals.htm

What spreads farther, faster, and more insidiously than a virus?

(Because I want to be Ashlee when I grow up, I may just send out a prize for the correct and/or most creative answer.)

seriously?

I'm sorry, but it has to be said.

I have no strong feelings either way about tattoos. I personally would probably never get one, but I don't have a problem with them out of hand. Rather, I just feel that they are not as counter-cultural as some people who get them believe them to be or want them to be. Honestly, it seems to me that tattoos have become downright trendy. (Don't hate me, it's just my opinion from my observation of society.) Here is my proof. Sorry, I couldn't get a picture to load. It's "Barbie Totally Stylin Tattoos." Enough said.

ya gotta be quick!

I'm officially the worst mother ever.

Wednesday night, I (along with my semi-permanent arm accessory) went to dinner with the girls (Ashlee, Tami, and Lisa) for Lisa's birthday dinner. We went to BJ's, it was great! Anyway, this left Joe in charge of the other three children. (They played "Wii!" as Jared informed me the next morning.) So Joe texted me while I was at dinner, informing me that Alaina's tooth, which she had been messing with for a good 4 days, fell out. I texted him back to let him know that I would take care of it when I got home. Well, as it turns out, A.J. has been sick again this week (the weather has gone nuts again), and when he is sick, he refuses to be put down. So when I got home, my primary concern was to quiet him down so we could both get some sleep. Needless to say, I completely forgot about being the Tooth Fairy...until about 7am the next morning as the children were about to get up.

Naturally, I waited to see what Alaina would say. It was something along the lines of a shocked, "The tooth fairy didn't come!" This, of course, required some quick thinking on my part. So in case anyone ever asks, the Tooth Fairy occassionally takes a day off...and makes up for it with two quarters the next night.

just call me Sir Edmund

I wanted to post a picture of Jared's new haircut. But he wouldn't cooperate last night, deciding instead to stick out his chubby little hand and maul the camera lens. (Joe cleaned it, so no harm done.) So here is today's random photo:



Baby smiles make it all worth it.

I did something last Friday that I have not done before. I took all of the children out on a shopping expedition. For most, going to Target is a simple errand - run in, wander around for a while, run out, done. Nothing to write home about. Not so for us! It requires logistical analysis, pit stops, and crisis-aversion skills. Alaina pushes the stroller with A.J., and I put Jared and Jadyn in the cart and push it. (Child containment is the #1 strategy.) Two bathroom stops later, we finish shopping and have to stop for lunch. This kind of shopping trip demands nourishment. We did make it, and we got everything we needed with a minimum of behavioral issues, so it was a success. However, I don't believe I will be making a habit of it anytime soon.

I've decided that Jared compensates for his limited vocabulary through sheer repetition. Have you ever read the book Jacob Two-Two? Well, this is more like Jared Six-Six. I mean, what's the difference, really? As long as you're jabbering away nonstop all day long, who can tell that you don't say that many words? The entire time we were at lunch at Target, all I heard was, "Mama! More b's! Mama! More b's!" A "b," of course, is the generic term for any letter.

We're rearraging our office upstairs. My family can attest to the fact that it was out of control. The trouble is, boys don't stay out of anything. It's a harsh realization to which I've had to adjust. When the girls were little, they typically stayed out of stuff. They didn't bother things that they knew weren't theirs. Jared, on the other hand, wanders around the house looking for things to get into. We have a big chair and a half with an ottoman upstairs, and out of necessity, it is situated next to the railing. The girls have always been careful to sit in it after I told them they could fall out an hurt themselves if they stood. I'm fairly certain Jared has taken to standing in the chair more after I told him the same thing. So, of course, the chair must be moved. As is often the case, this cannot be accomplished until 20 other things have been done in order to have a place for the chair to move into. Have I mentioned that we're going to be looking for a bigger house?!?

miscellany

I have decided blog posts are much more interesting if there is a photo included. So, here is today's photo:


It has nothing to do whatsoever with this post, but it's cute.

I have been completely remiss in mentioning this, but my mom started a blog. Seriously. I posted way back when about how I thought my parents were cool, and so she went and proved it again. It all reminds me of the time I called my grandma and she asked me to hold on because she was on the other line. Technology is way out of control.

The conversation I had with Jadyn this morning:

Me: Jadyn, you can't wear that sweater, it's too warm today.

Jadyn: But I love it!

Me: I understand that, but it's too warm today for a sweater.

Jadyn: But I love my sweater.

Me: (getting a little sterner) Jadyn, you may not wear that sweater today.

She bursts out crying. But there are no tears, so it's really more whining.

Me: Are you seriously crying about the weather?!

Jadyn: (wailing) Yeah!

I'm not sure how she thought she could get away with that in this house...


There's more, I'm just out of time, so it'll have to wait for the next post and random picture.

Oh, and happy birthday Lindsey! :)

inconceivable!

Although it is not even possible, my baby is about to be 6. A two-hands number. I remember being 6 - not vividly, but I remember some of the things I thought and felt. Anyway, enough nostalgia. On to the party!

She asked for a Nutcracker party. (What can I say, she's my kid, it's not a real surprise she's obsessed with Christmas.) I told her there was no way I was doing a Nutcracker cake. I know my limits. So we agreed on Sugar Plum Fairy cupcakes. Believe it or not, it's not all that easy to find ballerina cupcake toppers. So I got creative.


I made tiny gingerbread men out of a thin layer of cake. The tops of the cupcakes are supposed to be the ballerina's skirt. I thought they were cute. I bought a decorator tip set in order to make them, which I'm kind of excited about. Undoubtedly my next endeavor will be more involved.

As it was a Nutcracker party, she directed a meaningful new interpretation of the ballet, in which she also performed the role of, you guessed it, the Sugar Plum Fairy. So that Joe doesn't take my blog away, I will refrain from posting video. (He had a supporting role. Literally.) Jared helped with the scenery.


And then there were presents. Ashlee won.


She's holding her brand new leotard. It's purple with butterflies. Don't believe Ashlee when she tells you she had to buy it for her because I would not. As predicted, though, Jadyn wants one too.

So, here comes 6!

what is it with men and "the godfather?"

Seriously, what is it about children and cat litter that they must intersect at some point?

A couple of years ago, when Alaina and Jadyn were in the vicinity of 3 1/2 and 1 1/2 years old, respectively, the two of them decided to hunt for treasure. . . in the cat litter. But they weren't just digging in the cat litter. No, they were throwing handfuls of the stuff. And as the cat litter is located in the laundry room, they managed to get cat litter not only all over themselves and firmly ground into their hair, but also inside the washer and every other corner of the laundry room. It was gross. Fortunately, they were the only two children at the time, so cleaning them up wasn't major drama.

This morning, when now there are four children, Jared decided it would be a good idea to spread the cat litter from the laundry room into the hallway. Now, I will admit that it was nothing short of a miracle that he wasn't chucking the stuff as hard and as far as he could. He was, however, taking handfuls of cat litter and dropping it all over the laundry room floor and hallway carpet. But it gets better. After removing him and disciplining him and washing his hands, I sent him into my room with the other children so I could go get the vacuum from downstairs. During the 30 or so seconds it took me to go downstairs and retrieve the vacuum, Jared had gone into the master bath, where one of the cats currently lives (long story, not worth it) and picked up the cat litter scoop to play in the cat litter in there. I'm thinking, "Seriously?!? I just spanked him for that!" So once again I removed him and disciplined him and washed his hands, but this time I sat him down against a wall where I could watch him while I cleaned up the mess.

Stay tuned. I'm sure A.J. will have his own exploits with cat litter in a couple of years. . .

what's the "call in sick" number for my job?

All I wanted to do when I woke up this morning was not talk. My throat hurt, I was coughing, and I felt awful. I knew I'd have to deal with the world; I just didn't want to have to talk to it.

And then they woke up.

terrible

I am officially a terrible mother.

For her birthday, Ashlee (I would link to her, but even if I can do that from my phone, it wouldn't be easy) took Jadyn out for a special day. Part of the special day was getting to pick out her own present. Jadyn selected a truly delightful baby doll that makes noise - sucks its pacifier, cries, etc. Fortunately for Ashlee and Jadyn and the doll, it also has a "magic blanket" that quiets the crying instantly.

This afternoon, Jared was playing with this particular baby doll. (He has taken an interest in baby dolls since his baby brother was born.) He put the pacifier in the baby's mouth, but it kept falling out, which made the baby cry. After several attempts at pacifying the baby, Jared just busts out crying. As I'm trying to discern just what has happened, he keeps trying to make the baby stop crying. I can't help but start laughing. The poor kid was so upset that the baby wouldn't stop crying that he has big fat tears rolling down his cheeks (which, of course, makes me laugh harder). I enlist Alaina's help in retrieving the magic blanket from upstairs, as I have my hands full with the aforementioned baby brother.

So we get the baby doll quiet, which helps Jared to calm down. And then the baby starts up, and so does Jared. I am still laughing and hoping this won't be the foundation for a neurosis.

So what have we learned? a) Jared can be a sweet and sensitive boy. b) Crying baby dolls can have their moments as entertainment. c) I probably need to get out of the house more often.

"Jared thinks all the food in the world is his."

- Jadyn, in the car this morning on the way to Alaina's basketball game, as Jared is screaming incoherently about wanting something I neither understand nor could possibly give to him while driving

"Why are you laughing?"

- Jadyn's next remark, to me

a blogging resolution

So, not really. I don't do resolutions. But I am trying something new...blogging from my phone. It's an attempt to blog more frequently, as I know all 2 of my readers are eager for more wit and wisdom from me.

Anyway, blogging from my phone might actually work as it is very conducive to multi-tasking, and while I don't often have an empty lap for my computer, I can usually manage unoccupied thumbs. (I may finally be able to keep up with Ravi at texting.)

I am truly amazed somedays at the difference between being pregnant and not for me. But it's the little things like actually getting something done during the day and feeling like I'm accomplishing something rather than merely surviving that support our decision to be done at four. I'm also fairly confident that each child would not get as much attention as I want them to if we had more.

So we're looking at bigger houses. I know, Ashlee, I said I wasn't moving unless it was out of this state. Well, I changed my mind. I don't really understand how or when it happened, but we've run out of room. I don't really feel like we have an excessive amount of stuff, but apparently the house disagrees. And wouldn't you know it, I'm actually getting excited about the prospect. The idea of having a space for all of my craft stuff and room for our books and a classroom for school nearly makes me giddy. And why else do we have four kids if not to help clean the house?

I've just discovered the most amazing thing about homschooling: seeing Alaina learn something and incorporate concepts she's learned into learning new things. She's learned how to read, for crying out loud. She can write in cursive, and she's developed good problem solving skills (when she chooses to employ them!). It really is amazing to observe firsthand. I know homeschooling isn't for everyone, but I am so glad that we can.

So, any brilliant thoughts on how to do a Nutcracker birthday party?

mile marker 16

I've always felt sorry for people whose birthdays were around Christmas. I mean, how could they possibly not feel gypped? But I've changed my mind since my children were born, as they all have birthdays basically during the holidays. Now I feel like we essentially have one unending party from the end of October (A.J.'s birthday, not Halloween) through the end of January. It's great fun, but it's also a bit of a marathon to plan and execute. I'm not complaining, as planning and organizing is what we OCD types love to do.


One of the events during party season is our annual "Bible Study Baking Extravaganza!" (Yes, that's its actual name. Don't ask me, I don't make this stuff up.) It was started by a dear friend who has since abandoned us for the midwest, but we're not bitter or anything. Baking Day has since evolved a bit, but I'm thankful that we always make the time for it. I'm also very thankful for my friends who are so patient and willing to work with my small(ish) children, even though I know it is not easy! (Have you ever tried cooking or baking with small children? If they don't drive you bananas asking every 3 minutes when it will be time to frost the cookies, then there's the mess.) But my friends are champs and good sports about the whole thing.


Speaking of bananas, as my mom always said, "what goes around comes around." The other night, after asking for a banana and eating half of it, Jared decided that the way I had peeled the bottom half of the banana was simply unacceptable. So he dropped it on the floor. And then, in the midst of his tantrum, I told him to pick up the banana and throw it in the garbage. When I looked back at him a moment later to ensure that he was doing as instructed (as there are three other children and this was not the only thing taking place at that time), I see him noticing a convenient banana-stashing nook under the hutch and beginning to take advantage of said nook. The following things flew through my head almost simultaneously, the last being the one that actually left my mouth:

- Ha! That's hilarious!*
- Where's the camera?
- Wow, it must be genetic or something.*
- Jared Robert! Pick up that banana right now!

*There may be an anecdote about Raj and me and a not-so-silent fruit consumption protest involving stashing a banana under a hotel room bed in India. First of all, it was hilarious, and second of all, I was not going to eat that banana.

Up next: a Clarice birthday party for Jadyn, who couldn't possibly be 4 already, as I'm certain Alaina just turned 4 the other day; a Christmas here and there; some family coming; other assorted events.

gonna walk all over you

"These slippers are made for walking, Mama. ... My slippers are made for walking."

So says Jadyn.

It's a wonder what 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep in one's own bed can do for a person...

a source of frustration eliminated

For a few years now, I have harbored a death wish towards my dishwasher. But it was just one of those things I accepted. It was getting old, it was installed when the house was built, and I didn't pick it out. (Implication: The person who did pick it out had inferior opinions.) However, when it started to not clean the dishes, that's when I wanted to throw it out the window.

If there is one thing I learned from my dad, it is the art of being patient. Though Joe may be snorting as he reads this, I really can be patient. I might be loud and opinionated while exercising said patience, but I can do it. So here's to the practice of patience:


Oh, yeah. I may have sold my soul to Samsung and/or Lowe's. What are you gonna do?

who knew?

It's actually possible there is one decent writer on the staff of SNL. This aired Saturday night, and oddly enough, was pulled from the official NBC SNL site...possibly because there's actual truth in it. But it's funny, so here you go (for as long as it manages to stay on youtube).

addicted

So we just spent the last 5 days without phone, tv, or internet.

It's brutal.

I didn't mind being without the phone; after all, that's what cell phones are for. And usually the phone only rings when telemarketers are calling, so it's not like I answer it anyway.

I sort of missed the tv. It was the first week of new shows, but there's not much worth watching anyway. There is something to be said about the utility of Nick Jr. in the morning, though.

I am completely addicted to the internet. I can't decide if this is a bad thing or not. Part of me doesn't care, even if it's not that healthy. But I felt completely cut off from the outside world, which I don't think is a good thing. Then again, maybe it's inevitable...I've been an internet junkie for nearly 15 years now.

why do they name hurricanes?

The answer we gave Alaina was that hurricanes had to have names to distinguish them. I'm beginning to wonder if it doesn't serve a secondary purpose of personifying them in order to facilitate hating them. Or perhaps, to be less hostile, they need names because they take on lives and personalities of their own.

Just for the record, I am very grateful to have had no damage from the hurricane. Nothing. I am also grateful that we had a place to go to, despite the fact that the hurricane was actually worse there and we should've stayed here. I am very impressed by the way the various governments handled this storm - the reality is that things went just about as smoothly as could be expected.

What I said before Ike hit still stands: hurricanes are like high school girls - all drama.

I have experienced a fair amount of weather phenomenon in my life: ice storms, blizzards, tornado warnings (though no actual tornadoes), tropical depressions, and now a hurricane. Hands down, hurricanes are the worst. I could give you all the reasons why, but I won't. Suffice it to say, the weather on the Gulf coast bites, and hurricanes are merely the epitome of the truly awful weather.

By the way, someone please connect the dots for me, because I can't. Obama canceled his appearance on Saturday Night Live last Saturday because of the hurricane. Uh....? Not like 99% of the people affected by the hurricane could watch SNL on Saturday night anyway...

if you're interested...

One of the most well written articles about Sarah Palin and why she is important to this election and to conservatives as a whole comes from, of all places, the Times of London. If you're interested in reading some of the real story as opposed to the absolutely biased drivel (at best) and downright lies (at worst) of the mainstream media, you can find it here.

Why you should vote for John McCain...

2 words:

Sarah Palin.

I hate summer. Have I mentioned that before? Well, I do. I didn't used to. I used to love summer, but that's another story. Mind you, there isn't really a season that I do like in this climate, but I really hate summer. Any guess what the temperature was at 11am this morning? 103. That's right, 103. And that doesn't account for the humidity and therefore the heat index, that was just the temperature. You can't even placate me with the knowledge that September and theoretically fall are on the way. It's a lie. Not the September part, the fall part. Why? Because there is literally no chance that the weather will become bearable, even temporarily, until late October at best. No, the reality is we will still be running the air conditioner in December.

I'm done complaining now. (To be fair, it is my blog.)

In other news, Jared figured out how to turn on the tv in the kitchen with the remote the other day. He thought it was basically the coolest trick ever, giggling all the way into the living room, where, sadly, the same trick didn't work on the tv there...

Alaina has decided she wants to be in a choir, which is, of course cool with me. Anyone know of a children's choir around here? She's also decided she wants to learn to play guitar and be in a band. That may have been slightly influenced by watching us play Guitar Hero...but I still told her to talk to Uncle Raj about it next time she sees him... (Yes, Guitar Hero. Yes, we are nerds. Our children had no chance.)

The Great Toy Standoff of '08 was merely the opening skirmish. It is, in fact, a war...of wills, of stubbornness, of control, of something. But it is decidedly a war. Jadyn literally fell asleep on the bench in the playroom last night because she refused to pick up toys and I refused to let her go to bed or do anything else until she picked them up. The sobering part is that I know this is not really about toys and that I have to win this particular war, for her sake. This parenthood thing is bar none the hardest thing I will ever do in my life.

getting there

This summer has been rough for me. So it is with a sense of relief that I welcome the month of August. I used to love summer. Of course, that was when I lived in a climate where summer was just another season rather than the prevailing weather pattern.

I will give that it could be entirely psychosomatic (August means summer will be ending and therefore things will be changing), but it's getting a little easier to do things. Doing small housework tasks no longer seem comparable to scaling a cliff. I still have next to no desire to cook anything, but I don't really expect that to resolve itself until November. (Nothing like Thanksgiving and the thought of pumpkin dessert month to motivate the cook/baker in me!)

I even feel like I'm getting a handle on the homeschooling thing. I didn't exactly jump into this particular pool completely unaware of the depth, but this has definitely been one of the bigger challenges I have ever taken on. The whole idea of no boundaries and no guidelines is a bit of a double-edged sword. The past nine months have definitely tested my perspective on the philosophy of learning in general.

All I can hope is that this breathing space lasts for a little while. I know it's going to come crashing down soon, but if I could have a couple of months to get things together, I would be doing really well.

love for my bro

My brother Ravi has started a blog. It has taken much persuasion and cajoling, but you should go visit it. Ravi has an interesting perspective on life...you won't be disappointed.

is this what it's going to be like?

Last week, Jadyn spent the better part of 2 days gated in her room. (I let her out to eat, of course.) Ashlee called it the "Great Toy Standoff of '08." The disagreement was about picking up toys in her room - I told her she must, and she refused. So after trying a number of disciplinary methods, I finally told her that she wasn't leaving her room until she picked up her toys. Thus the standoff. She had started to pick up her toys by late afternoon of the 2nd day, but the standoff ended when Joe came home and took matters into his own hands.

The other night, Jared decided he didn't want to eat the last half of his banana and promptly deposited it on the floor. This being an unacceptable behavioral choice, I told him to pick up the banana. As this was not on his list of things to do, he and I disagreed for the next two hours about the placement of the banana. The banana standoff finally ended when I decided that he was far too happy to just play in the 4 square feet of the kitchen to which he was confined and that he would probably fall asleep on the kitchen floor before he would willingly pick up the banana. So I had to make him pick up the banana and throw it away.

I never really saw myself as a stubborn person. I mean, I know that I have my opinions and that I'm pretty certain of the way that I do things, but I never really felt like I'm the type of person who is just stubborn for the sake of stubbornness. And I'm sure if Jadyn or Jared could articulate their motivations, they wouldn't categorize themselves as simply stubborn either. I'm just getting the feeling that this is what it's going to be like - navigating very strong personalities and figuring out how to guide them.

And so it has begun. Sleeping in a chair is bittersweet; while I do appreciate being able to walk when I get up in the morning, it is just not the same as sleeping in a bed.

I have noticed that driving around in a big city late at night is very lonely. Not because there aren't any cars around, rather, because there are a lot of cars around. I understand that this seems counterintuitive, but in my reality, no one is supposed to be out at 11 o'clock at night. (Except, of course, for me and the few other people like me who don't know enough to go to bed.) But in a big city, there are a lot of people driving around, and the city accommodates that; the stoplights and whatnot behaving as they do all day long, with no comprehension of the hour. In a smaller place, on the contrary, people do actually go to bed (or at least have the sense not to leave the house). And the city infrastructure changes in understanding. There's something friendly about the stoplights blinking yellow on my way home, as if to say, "Hey! Goodnight! I'm taking a break too. Go on through, there's no traffic." I suppose this feeling of loneliness is not far removed from the mild depression I feel when the weather fails to consult the calendar, e.g. when I'm running the air conditioner in December.

my poor neglected blog

In order to appease the angry masses as a result of my shameful, though temporary, abandonment of my blog, I submit a cute picture of small children. (Hey, what's the use in having children if you can't use them as cannon fodder every once in a while? Seriously, calm down, it's a joke.)



Every so often I feel like I need to draw back, regroup, take a mental vacation, something. I'm not terribly proud of it, and I'm sure it's an attitude problem more than anything. I just sometimes get sick of all the things that I "have" to do, so I do nothing.

favorite things

It's interesting how different things can trigger memories. Yesterday the small children and I shared a cantaloupe (yes, between us we ate the entire thing) that was really good. I couldn't cut the thing fast enough to keep up with the speed at which they were shoveling the fruit into their mouths. But this cantaloupe was very good - it tasted just like the ones we used to eat at Grandma Jackie's house during the Fourth of July in Iowa (where it's not a little sketchy to buy produce from the farmers selling on the side of the road out of their pickup trucks). I so want to take my kids to small town Iowa for the small town Fourth of July celebrations, which aren't that much to speak of, but they also aren't put on for the show. It's not like I have memories of days that were without their share of drama. I remember it was always either ridiculously hot or raining, and I have no doubt that we were usually a chore to entertain. But I also remember how much fun it was to watch the fireworks, play bingo, watch the parade, and how good the cantaloupe and the watermelon tasted, and how the adults in my family didn't try and entertain us at every moment with this plan or that but let us figure things out for ourselves.

I haven't been to Yale, Iowa, for the Fourth of July celebration in a really long time. I'm sure things have changed, and I'm sure there are plenty of not-delightful things I would notice about small towns and their residents were I to return. But that doesn't change my desire to go back.

The other thing that has stirred memories lately has been a return to using matches. I think I really prefer matches over a firestick. Yes, a firestick may be easier, but there's nothing remarkable about it. Matches have an instantaneous, unmistakable smell associated with lighting them that just reminds me of afternoons after school, going downstairs to do my homework and lighting either a candle or incense from India. Even accounting for the homework, it's a pleasant memory.

so tired

I realized something depressing the other day. I probably won't be able to get back to Omaha until next May or June. That will make it a full year and a half between visits. I know that I probably sound crazy in my inexplicable attachment to a place, but it is what it is. Everything just feels different there. And there are some people who will point out that the drought between visits is largely my own fault, which I acknowledge but reject as a valid argument. :)

Anyway, so a few weeks ago, when my mom was here, I offhandedly remarked that I wanted fried ravioli from Malara's. It's one of those funky little restaurants in the middle of a neighborhood that is just barely converted from a house itself. One of the things this restaurant is famous for is its fried ravioli. It really is amazing. So when we were in Target today trying to figure out what to get for lunch, I stumbled upon a box of frozen fried ravioli. Attempting to contain my excitement, I decided neither the price nor the ingredient list were too appalling and subsequently had fried ravioli for lunch. It didn't even remotely resemble the fried ravioli from Malara's, but it was decent enough, particularly because I have never seen fried ravioli in another restaurant, much less a grocery store.

By way of update, my new washer is amazing. The clothes are actually cleaner, which I had hoped for but never really expected. Things like children's socks, for which there is little hope anyway, have returned to a state of actual whiteness. It is truly a wonder. And so the list of appliances which need to break is down by one...

for the record

I'm just going on record to say that I did not kill the washer. I have wished it dead for some time now, but I did not kill it. However, that does not change the fact that it is dead, which does not bode well for the clothing situation.

I made an amazing discovery the last time I went to the grocery store. Whole Foods has organic tater tots! I know this probably does not seem all that amazing, but really it is. I had some for lunch, with cheese on top, and it was yummy.

conquered! (almost)

I can't say it's been completely conquered until I have successfully done it more than once, but this afternoon I made a really good smoothie, and it made me happy! :) I would even dare to say that it was as good as the one I got from Smoothie King last week.

Just a little update for everyone who I know was very concerned about me and my smoothies.

83

Yes, that is the number of this post. Pathetic, compared to Ashlee's 403. I guess it means that Ashlee is 4 times cooler at blogging than I am.

Does anyone know how to make smoothies? I'm terrible at it, and I really want one. There is a Smoothie King right by my house, but $6 for a smoothie is a little more than I'm willing to pay (unless I'm desperate).

One of the great things about my mom being here was that she just took care of things for me. Like making breakfast for me. I know, it sounds pathetic, but I have been making my own breakfast basically since I was old enough to pour milk. So today when I really wanted eggs but didn't have the stomach to make them myself, there was no one here to make them for me. (Yes, I'm just whining, but it's my blog, so deal with it.)

There's something wrong with my dumb cats. They have never, ever fought with each other. But for some unknown reason, this morning they've decided they don't like each other. It's been the whole thing - growling, hissing, weird cat moaning. I'm thoroughly annoyed. The thing they don't know is that if they start injuring each other, they're both done for. I really do love my cats, but not when they're acting so bizarrely and unpredictably.

happy birthday to me!

Today is my birthday. Is it okay that I don't feel like I'm 29 or act like it seems someone almost 30 should act?

This morning, while waiting for everyone to get their acts together so we could go downstairs for breakfast, Jadyn looked out the window in my room.

"The moon is out! Oh gravy!"

wahooo!

"So many things I see remind me of what I've read in a book...when, shouldn't it be the other way around?" Kathleen Kelly, You've Got Mail

A movie I haven't thought about in a while has resurfaced in the past week. The other night, after all of the children were in bed, I came downstairs to see if there was anything on tv and just not think for a while. To my delight, I found the movie I.Q., in HD and widescreen beauty. So I quickly determined that it was on again during the middle of the night and set the DVR to record it. Then I proceeded to watch the first hour and was reminded of why and how much I do love this movie.

This weekend, Joe took the small children outside to enjoy the very nice and not very frequent weather we've had. Yesterday, just before time to go in, Joe was throwing a beach ball into the air, where, of course, it got stuck in a tree. If you have ever seen I.Q., you will understand why we both started laughing. If you haven't, there is a scene early in the movie where Einstein's 3 scientist friends are playing badminton and get a birdie stuck in the tree. And these brilliant scientists, who between them "can't change a lightbulb," send this mechanic into the tree to help with their "gravity problem." Maybe you have to be a nerd, but Joe throwing the soccer ball to try and get the beach ball was hilarious in its similarity. And the reenactment was complete when he had to climb the tree to get the ball. (He didn't fall out.)

"We threw the racket up to get the birdie."
"We threw Godel's cane up to get the racket."
"We were going to throw Godel up next!"

dangerously close to a month

I didn't intend to not blog for so long...it just happens somehow.

It's so easy to think that life is just going to go along and that things will always be the way they are. But I don't know how to live thinking that things could be completely different tomorrow.

Alaina had her first softball practice last night. I felt a little out of place; it's kind of a club where everybody already knows what's going on. I don't think it's intentional or malicious, but I don't like feeling like I'm trying to catch up. It will be interesting to see how the season goes. Alaina was a little disappointed last night because she thought she was going to be playing softball "like Daddy does at church." We explained to her how she has practices and games and that seemed to be okay. She was so excited last night before practice, she could hardly stand it. It was pretty funny.

Why is it there is never enough time during the day?

5 years old

My little (or not so little) baby is 5 years old today. I don't even really believe it. I can't even pretend she's not a child yet. She hasn't been even a "preschooler" for quite some time, but somehow, saying she's 4 is much easier than saying she's 5. Honestly, it's hard for me to even remember her as a baby, except when I look at pictures. But I think that's okay. I don't want to ever hold any of my children back because they've grown up and I can't handle it.

One of the very important things I'm learning with her is how to love and parent her for who God made her to be, instead of who I would make her to be. When she was born, I had this mistaken notion that I had more influence over who she would turn out to be than I really do. God gave her her personality, and while that may be difficult for me at times, it's so much better that way for her and for me.

It's funny how 5 years is so very long and yet so very short all at the same time.

get this

So here's an article about how playing the Wii actually helps surgeons perform better. Specifically, games like Marble Mania, which apparently is all about precise controller movement. [Sidebar: I think I might have to look into getting that game - it's mazes with marbles!] The researchers are planning on developing a surgical training tool for the Wii, which could be used in developing countries to train surgeons.

Anyone who has played Wii knows how cool it is, and now it's socially-minded, too!

a funny

Either due to my lack of watching anything other than children's programming on tv, or the typical lack of political ads aired in Texas, I have not seen this political ad in Texas. So I'm sharing it with the vast readership of my blog because it is hilarious and because I have politics in my blood.

thanks

Thanks to everyone who has (knowingly or not) been helping to pull me out of my annual January funk. Lisa and Ashlee, who basically told me I could do whatever I wanted. My mom, who is coming down here for my birthday in March. Raj, who told me about Pandora internet radio, although Raj is on the bubble because I'm a little miffed he didn't tell me about it before. (Check it out, it's awesome.) For the record, I'm still sticking by my RSAD (reverse seasonal affective disorder) because though I may not be in a funk anymore, 80 degrees in January still hacks me off.

If anyone is keeping track, I did not find a VeggieTales calendar this year. I am fairly confident, through my exhaustive (not really) internet research, that there isn't one this year. So I went to Barnes & Noble and got an M.C. Escher calendar for half off.

Another reason to love Starbucks: I got free coffee last night in return for a promise to bring the baristas rice krispie treats next week.

And here's a picture from Christmas - the first time my babies have played in the snow. Alaina and Jadyn are making snow angels, and Jared is just trying to get around.

happy new year?

It's not a new year for me without a new VeggieTales calendar (which I don't have yet) and a new pillar added to my moral stance (about which you are soon to read). Sorry if you tuned in expecting a cute Christmas picture and/or nice Christmas vacation vignette...I'm aiming for that for the next post.

I returned to my normal routine this morning to find this story among the Relevant Magazine "slices" that I was catching up on. Basically, the RIAA is suing a man for ripping CDs that he purchased onto his computer for his own use.

The last grasping death throes and wheezes of an industry so out of touch with the people that it is marketing to are just pathetic.

Perhaps it seems odd that I would get worked up about something like this. I am a stauch supporter of artists getting paid for their work. I have long been opposed to the blatant copying and distribution of CDs, particularly over the internet with any and every random person. I would even rather have a physical CD than use iTunes or whatever to purchase music. But when the idiots of the RIAA, who have been completely bilking people on the price of CDs for a very long time, decide to tell me that I can't listen to music I have purchased in the format that I want, then I'm done.

Until something changes with the RIAA and their policies, I won't be buying any more CDs. I'll be buying all of my music online. I really like Amazon's mp3 website - DRM-free and cheaper than iTunes.

It's no wonder that so many bands are making a beeline for the exit when it comes to record companies.

oh, the snowmanity!

So that was really just for dramatic effect. (And because Joe said that, above, and it was funny.) The snowman cake actually behaved quite nicely:

And Jadyn did finally decide that she was, in fact, 3 and not still 2. ("I'm still little!" is what she kept telling me.)

We painted "snow" on the windows, which was ridiculously cute. Jadyn kept getting upset because somehow, she kept getting painted with snow. This was, of course, a tragedy since the snow paint was made out of soap. "I not a window!" (best read with accompanying frown/grimace)

I think she had fun, and the best news is that today she is still 3.


And now basically everything is over. Sounds absurd, huh? I have a week to pack, and then it's Christmas in Omaha. I'm really glad I have a week to "take a breaver" (as Jadyn says) before Christmas.

In another exciting development, I got a Dremel tool set for Christmas. I am super excited about it, and no doubt I will be posting pictures of my accomplishments throughout the next year! First up, jewelry box.

party!

Jared's birthday "cake." (Out of the 7 birthday parties I've done so far, we've only had a cake twice. And one of those times, the cake looked like Pablo's face, so it was a pretty involved cake.) Isn't it cute?! I'm really happy with the way it turned out. Sometimes I never know if what I cook up in my head is able to be executed in a manner acceptable to my standards. And it's Monday morning, and only the letters and part of the caboose (and most of the wheels) have been eaten.
The birthday monster really likes rice krispies! (And puppy chow, and anything else he could get someone to feed him!)

Then Jared opened presents with his daddy, and then he had to leave his own party early to take a nap. Rough.

In a completely unrelated note, we netflixed the movie Stranger than Fiction, with Will Ferrell (and a bijillion other people). It was really really good. If you haven't seen it, you need to. I'm still thinking about it.

happy Jared!

This look says, "I know mommy wants me to cooperate, but I think I'm gonna continue to do whatever I want!"

Today is Jared's first birthday. For his birthday, I took him to the doctor. Aren't I nice? But before that I made homemade cinnamon rolls for breakfast. I have this tradition of making cinnamon rolls for birthdays. Until this point, they have definitely been popped out of a can. (Who can resist popping open those cans?) But this time, I made them. I think I have bitten by the organic/no preservatives bug...but that's another blog.

His birthday party is Sunday - there will be better pictures then.

In some ways, a year goes by so fast...in other ways, it's been a really long year!

we're going to the beach, the beach, the beach

I can always tell when it's time for me to take a vacation because I very suddenly have no more ability to be productive. I also get impatient. The trouble is, actually taking a vacation is no longer very relaxing for me. So I've found myself embarking on mental vacations. I picked up a sudoku puzzle the other day and figuring out a system of solving those puzzles was interesting diversion for a couple of days. Then I busted out a book of logic puzzles. Doesn't sound much like a mental vacation? Well, it's a departure from the things I have to think about (or at least should be thinking about/doing).

You are witnesses; I am starting the trend. Here is the first "year in review" for 2007: 2007 was pretty much as stinky as 2006, in a whole new way. There were perhaps a few more good things in 2007 than there were in 2006, but there has certainly been just as much drama.

my mom is cool

In case anyone ever wondered where my penchant for kooky ideas comes from, this should explain everything:



Yes, those are my parents. Yes, that is a giant rice krispie treat wedding "cake." Isn't it cute?!

My mom came up with this idea for a friend's wedding party/reception, and my dad helped her execute it. I think it's super cool, and I love that my parents do crazy things like this. I just wish I could've been there to help!

Jadyn is learning a valuable lesson: if she doesn't eat her food in an expeditious manner, chances are good Jared will finish it for her.

This morning, she left some of her pop tart (as usual), and Jared came along and finished it. (Not ideal, but he's almost a year old and pop tarts aren't the worst thing in the world.) This upset her greatly, although I think it was mostly because he ate her food, not necessarily because she was ever planning on finishing it herself...

For those keeping track, Jared's second word: "ba-ba," translated "bye bye," complete with hand gesture. Words 2, Dada 0.

trouble already

Sadly, I didn't have my camera to capture the momentous occasion: Jared ate an entire Jr. Roast Beef sandwich and 1 1/2 potato cakes for lunch at Arby's on Saturday. I told him his Uncle Ravi would be proud. I think Jared will be giving Ravi a run for his money for the eating bragging rights in the near future.

Last night, Jared climbed up the stairs. All of them. By himself. Joe followed him up, but I was highly disturbed watching the whole business. Apparently, he hasn't read the memo about not being a year old yet.

Some days you wake up and notice a pattern to the day. According to my small children, apparently the theme of the day is "let's make a mess for mommy to clean up!"

The leaves started falling off our oak tree in the backyard about a month ago. I thought it was odd, since the weather hadn't changed at all, but perhaps the tree checked a calendar. Silly rabbit, fall is for kids. The tree was merely shedding leaves in order to grow new ones. It's nearly full of bright spring green leaves. Depressing.

this and that

• Anyone who reads this and is not part of our Friday night Bible study will be sad: I have declared October "pumpkin dessert month." Lest the name not be description enough, every Friday night in October we will be having a pumpkin dessert. First up, pumpkin pie. After that...we'll see. My choices abound: pumpkin cheesecake, pumpkin creme brulee, pumpkin bars, pumpkin cake... (I'm starting to feel a little like Bubba from Forrest Gump.)

• Jared starting saying "mama" on Monday. It's his first word, and he is the first child to say "mama" before "dada," and the sad part is I would have been just fine with him saying "dada" first. It makes it very easy to hand him off, "See, he's asking for you!"

• I never suspected it would happen, but I'm really enjoying coaching soccer. Last Saturday, my little team actually played like they had heard and understood and were implementing things I had been teaching them. It was pretty exciting. It is amazing how personalities play such a factor at this age, maybe because they haven't learned to be anything but who they are yet. It's also a little overwhelming to try and figure out where to start in teaching them how to play - they really don't know anything, but at the same time they are eager to be taught and then play. I sometimes wish I hadn't had my nose in a book the whole time I was growing up. I think I would've liked to play a sport...I might have been decent at softball.

• If you are at all able, go get some Blue Bell Southern Blackberry Cobbler ice cream. There really are no sufficient words to describe it.

• One of the worst parts about having small children is not being able to just sleep it off when I am sick. Today is the first day this week I feel remotely like myself again. And as a sort of addendum to my previous post (sorry Ashlee!), I must point out that I had no trouble with allergies until I came to the lovely state of Texas.

• In case you were wondering, we have declared September a terrible month. This information is so that you can be prepared next year, as we certainly will be. As far as I am concerned, September is now a close second to January when it comes to months that I don't like. October, if solely by mere fact of the "pumpkin dessert month" declaration, will be better.

• Poor Jadyn is feeling horribly left out because I have started homeschooling Alaina, and Jadyn desperately wants to "do school" too. Given my natural tendency to want everything to be fair, a large part of me wants to include her. The other part of me, which is winning, says that she has to wait until she is old enough and that she's not going to get to do everything Alaina does at the same time.

• Jars of Clay and Relient K have new Christmas albums out this year...look out world!
  

today...

I hate Texas.

I hate Houston.

I hate the weather.

I hate airports.

I hate not getting what I want.

I hate traffic.

I hate having to persevere.

SAVE ROSENBLATT

Okay, I know this post will have little meaning to some of you who read my blog. However, if you have a minute, I'd really appreciate your help.

Rosenblatt Stadium in Omaha is the site of the Men's College World Series. The CWS has taken place in Omaha for over 50 years. I don't even know how many games I've been to, or how many times we've stood in line for hours on Saturday morning of the championship (when it was one game, winner take all). Going early and finding the best parking spot on the street is part of the adventure. We have found a couple of "secret" parking spots over the years. We've also parked at the zoo, which is right next to the stadium (even though you're not supposed to, though for the record, we did go to the zoo that day). We used to go during the week, when you could get in with one ticket and stay for two games. We always sit in the right field bleachers and mock the left field bleachers and heckle the right fielder. I'm pretty sure we were at a game that USC was playing and we heckled Morgan Ensberg.

Every summer, one of the most significant things I miss about being in Omaha is going to the CWS. That's part of the reason I will watch every game on ESPN - you can see Rosenblatt and get an idea of what Omaha is really like. There's a reason you will always find an LSU fan at the CWS, regardless of whether or not LSU is in the tournament.

And it's not just the CWS. Rosenblatt is a really great stadium for minor league ball, too. It may not have the swimming pools of new minor league parks, but it has character and tradition, which you cannot manufacture, no matter how much brick you use. This picture is how I think of going to a baseball game (even though this picture is from the wrong field bleachers). Summer, open air, sunshine...no doubt a beach ball is floating around the bleachers somewhere.

So please go here, and sign the petition to save Rosenblatt Stadium. Tell anyone you know who is a fan of baseball, or college sports, or just opposed to wasting money on a new sports arena that isn't necessary. And if you're ever in Omaha I will take you to a game.

assorted musings

From the last week or so...

• If you heard a faint shout for joy last week and were perplexed as to its origin, all I have to say is that Pumpkin Spice Lattes have returned to Starbucks. Bring on the Christmas music!
• More evidence proving the case that I should be commissioner of baseball: Bud Selig reduced his friendship with Cecil Cooper to a race issue. The article is here.
  
• Sunday morning conversation:

Jadyn: I want sa brefest. (translation: some breakfast)
Me: You want some breakfast?
Jadyn: Yeah.
Me: Well, it's almost time for church, so we're going to have to eat breakfast in the car.
Jadyn: Awww, dagnabbit!

• Sometimes they prove they really do love you (or at least need you because they're hungry). The other night, after putting the girls to bed, I stayed upstairs to do some work. Joe and Jared were downstairs. Jared crawled (scooted, more accurately) from the living room to the kitchen, whined a bit, turned around, scooted back to the living room to the stairs, where he started crying when he heard my voice.
• Every week should be a 4-day week.
  

just for Lisa

Ode to My Espresso Machine

The question I ponder
every now and then,
regarding the past,
how it could have been
that I harbored distaste
for a newfound friend?

That friend, espresso,
takes a latte form.
And frantic to and fro
of my daily norm
then takes a repose
while my latte is warm.

So hurrah for my espresso machine!
A true friend will it ever be.
Though small in size, on it I am keen.
But please don't expect more rhyming from me!

breakfast wisdom

I want to share with you the things I learned from my cereal box. These are suggestions from the good people at Cheerios (or at least their marketing or box design department) about how to "mix it up" in your life.

- Make a mix tape/CD.
- Learn one good joke and tell it.
- Write 10 things that make you happy and do one of them today.
- When describing something, use sound effects.
- Write all your emails so they rhyme.

Spanglish

So we Netflixed Spanglish, and I watched it on Sunday. Has anyone else seen it?

Let me start by saying that I really liked the movie. Adam Sandler, and by extension his character, is extremely likable - genuine and human. I have never really liked Tea Leoni, but she plays the role well (I'm beginning to think she's generally typecast). The crazy part is, despite my dislike of Tea Leoni, I still understood her character and even felt sorry for her. Anyway, the movie is really good - I've been thinking over it for a couple of days now. The main theme of the movie is the question, "how do we define ourselves?" Do we let external influences - culture, appearances, wealth, etc. - determine who we are and how we behave? Or do we let internal desires make our choices?

I have hung on to so many things (or people) that provided a definition for me over the course of my life. But at the same time, I react very negatively when someone tries to label me or tell me what I am. I don't think it's an easy thing just to be who you are. I think we'd save ourselves a lot of trouble if we could just figure out how to be who God made us to be and be happy with that.

my new best friend...

a mid-morning latte.

(Just in case you haven't heard me say it yet, coffee and caffeine both have health benefits. Seriously.)

childhood conversations

Jadyn: These flip flops are not working!

Alaina: (not even looking up from her task) Are they the right size?

Jadyn: Yeah. (pause) Pretty sure. ... Pretty sure.

they're back!!!

Though it probably made no difference whatsoever, I will choose to believe that the emails I (and others) sent to M&M Mars held some sway because dark chocolate peanut M&Ms are back!

So I bought some yesterday, and all of you need to go buy some too.

where'd that come from?

So I was watching this show last night on PBS about art. Seriously. It was one of those "by accident" things - the TV was on PBS when it was turned on, etc. etc. etc.

One of the things people might not know about me is that I love art. And it occurred to me as I was watching this show about Rembrandt - and how he was a total rebel and was sticking it to the man through his art (despite the fact that it was the man who had been paying for his art...) - that I have not been to an art museum in a really long time. I think the last time I was at an art museum was when I went to the Chihuly exhibit at the Joslyn. Anyway, that fact makes me kind of sad. Art is fascinating to me, and there's something in me that has missed that. I can't even really explain it.

So to all of those people who will be in the same city as I am at Christmas, I am going to the Joslyn. You are welcome to come with me, or you can stay at home and watch my children. :)

And yes, once again, this qualifies as one of those things that is cooler in Omaha - in my opinion, at least, the Joslyn kicks the Contemporary Art Museum's butt. And I think most of the people who would read this have not been to both museums, so that, combined with the fact that this is my blog, means that I'm right.

Nighthawks
Edward Hopper

how long can he possibly go without sleeping through the night?

Up to eat twice a night for the past week...he's never slept through the night for more than 4 nights in a row.

It will, in fact, be a miracle if I make it until the child turns 1.

a travelogue of sorts

A few amusing things heard on vacation:

Alaina (to Raj): You have short arms.


Alaina: That's Hoppy Bunny. I adopted him and named him Hoppy Bunny Lulla Larry.

Alaina (to Raj): You're weak sauce.

Azina: Jadyn, what is that?Jadyn: Puppy bunny.


Lindsey: Isn't Uncle Raj awesome?
Alaina: Yeah. But Uncle Ravi is more awesome.

Me: Jadyn, do you like your new car seat?
Jadyn: No!

Azina: I have to go back to my house in California.
Jadyn: No!
Azina: You can come visit me.
Jadyn: No!

Jadyn: I want no go to Texas.

That's all I can remember for now.

11.957

According to Joe, this is the number of days left until we go to Omaha. (He's also in need of a vacation...) I started the countdown on the message board by the door on Friday. Alaina is very excited about going to see Grandma. I am super excited about going to Omaha, but I am a little apprehensive about this road trip... The great thing is that Azina will be with us to help (plus she's cool to hang out with!), but I would be happy for any ideas about what to bring with me for a 2 year old and a 4 year old to do on the trip. It's going to be about 16 hours (and we're hoping not any more than that).

That's about all that's going on around here...we're working on soccer, and I'm pretty sure this is going to be the biggest season I've ever been part of. I just have this feeling that we don't know what we're in for!

Joe's parents gave us tickets to the Astros game yesterday for Mother's Day. I was away for Jared for more than an hour for the first time, and it was nice. He's also finally starting to sleep in his crib in his room, and I forgot how much I can get done when a baby is on some sort of schedule! Anyway, that wasn't the point of this paragraph. The point was that Joe bought me an Astros cap for Mother's Day, and I got to pick it out, and it's purple! Is it sacrilegious to get a baseball cap not in the team colors? Perhaps. But I don't care. I finally have an Astros hat. Even Alaina and Jadyn had one before I did, it just wasn't right. And they won yesterday!

Happy May Day!

If I could, I would leave baskets of popcorn and jelly beans at all of your doorsteps.

As it is, I will just leave you with a picture of my new refrigerator.

It's shiny and pretty and the girls love it. So do I. :)

wow...

My sister pointed this blog out to me...it's fascinating. But those bugs are disgusting.

We're so removed from it all in this country. (Or maybe we just have less obvious symbolism to deal with...) Thinking of the things that we do to each other, physically and emotionally, makes me feel ill.

So far this year, someone I know has died every month. Not a particularly delightful thought.

randomness

I'm almost finished reading Searching for God Knows What by Donald Miller. Go get it and read it now. Seriously, it's that good. Reading it has made me reflect on my past and how amazing it is that I am who I am where I am. It seems as if at any point in my life I could've turned out to be a caricature of Christianity (not that I've got it perfect by any means). But God made sure that didn't happen. And I think a lot of that is because my mom is amazing. Of course I didn't realize that when I was growing up, but in so many ways she did things and believed things that were different from other people but that were true. And she didn't do it aggressively or with an agenda, she just did it. I think she'd say that she learned from the things she didn't like when she was growing up. Joe says that, too. It makes me wonder if I've actually learned anything. I've always been surrounded by people who have learned things, and I feel like I tend to just depend on those around me.

Sometimes it's hard. In the Christian culture, even the anti-Christian culture Christian culture, it seems as if there's a stratification. People who do things that affect large groups of people, particularly oppressed or marginalized groups, are held up as examples and have articles written about them. I'm sorry, I just can't make it to Africa this year, I have laundry to do.

I'm not looking for a pity party, I swear. Sometimes it's just hard to believe that this stratification that we apply to every aspect of life is not how God operates. And if that's the case, then why do we do it? Did He create that tendency in us? Seriously, is it really the same spending an hour with orphans and spending an hour trying to get all of us dressed in the morning? It's like trying to reconcile the idea that we don't know what's going to happen in the next hour or the next day with the reality that we have to make plans, whether it's to go to the beach or what to have for dinner.

Alaina requested "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" as our lunchtime soundtrack. She even knows that it's a Beatles song. I wonder if my kids are going to think I was amazing, despite the freakouts I'm prone to when they make a mess unnecessarily... (Don't squish your muffin! Why did you do that?!?)

My sibs and I used to play the "crusties" game. For whatever reason, people stare at us when we go places together. Inevitably, every time we walked into the mall, we would win because of the number of people who looked at us funny. I sort of feel like I'm playing that game by myself now, but sometimes it's a little less innocuous. It is far from the easiest thing in the world to do errands with three small children. I always have this voice in the back of my head telling me that I did this to myself - this is the choice that we made, so I can't complain. That's not what I used to believe. I used to believe that God would give us children according to His plan for our family. I still believe that. Everything else just doesn't look like I think it should. The way things are going, God is blessing us in ways that I never expected, or maybe even wanted. I'm not sure what to do with that.

By the way, I now believe that a water bottle is completely inferior unless it is filled with candy. (Thanks Azina!) :)

Jadynisms

Things Jadyn has said recently:

"I busy right now." (In response to being told it was naptime.)

"Grumpy, mommy." (regarding her emotional state)

"Angry. No go back." (Complete with crossed arms, after being told it was time to go home.)

"man yo hat" (Curious George's friend)

"I blow him. I squish him with my foot!" (accompanied by stomping; in response to Alaina screaming about a bug, or anything that remotely resembles a bug)

"Don't [s]pank my little bottom!"

the celebrating continues...

Since I was 5, I have always had a birthday buddy. My brother Raj was born the day after my 5th birthday. A few years ago, I discovered another birthday buddy - as Jadyn says, Ashwee!

So happy birthday Raj - I'm glad that we are friends now because the days of me being stronger than you are long gone! I love that we (including those other two yahoos) are siblings who actually like hanging out together and miss each other. And I'm starting to come around to your way of thinking regarding Coldplay...although they will never be better than Switchfoot.

And happy birthday Ashlee - thank you for showing me what Christian friendship was all about. Thank you for going along with my crazy ideas. Thank you for all of the things I've learned from you about God and life. Thank you for loving my children as if they were your own. Thank you for my fabulous birthday chocolate raspberry truffle bars, and thank you for celebrating with me because that way I feel less silly about being so excited about my birthday!

I think we can agree - March is the best month ever.

happy pi(e) day!

I just got home from coffee night, which is always fabulous, but even more so tonight because today was pi day! (March 14th, 3-14, pi is 3.14... yes, I am a nerd, I know that.)

What was really great about today is that I got to celebrate pi day right - I got to make pizza (including the dough), and I got to make a pumpkin pie. And then I got to have coffee and share my pumpkin pie with my friends. And I wish I could've shared a pie with everyone who reads this. So was it really about pi or celebrating nerdiness? A little. It was also a little about taking a day to celebrate people I have been friends with in the past (hello Mr. Biga's math class!).

But mostly it's about taking any random old day and making it special for the people I love. So today I say, thank you Lord for my family and friends (past and present) and for silly days like pi day to celebrate the life you've given us!

here's a new one

So I'm on my way home from a delightful shopping trip with my children. At the last big intersection before my house, where people tend to act like idiots, although not usually in the direction I was traveling, several cars turning onto my road decided to be in the intersection when my light turned green. After letting them go and not cutting them off to leave them stranded in the intersection, as I could've done, the driver of the last car waved at me. Now, normally I would take that as an admission of a vehicular faux pas and move on. However, the driver of the last car waved at me. . . with her cell phone. Yes, that's right. As Joe would say, she was an idiot and could prove it scientifically.

I believe I can now personally update the old adage: Better to remain silent and be thought an idiot than wave your cell phone and remove all doubt.

happy march!

Welcome to birthday month!

Just when I was beginning to wonder when/what God was going to show me needed work in my life, it hit me in the head.

It's hard to deal with the knowledge that potentially every stage in your child's life could be one that affects her for the rest of her life. It's even harder to deal with the knowledge that the way I respond to those stages could be the foundation for emotional neuroses she'll have to recognize and deal with when she's my age. And then you realize the hardest part of all - she's responding because of the way I'm dealing with her. (Which, of course, is all God's fault for giving me a child whose personality I am not prepared for, nor do I think I really understand.) And all those things I thought I knew about raising children, all those things I thought (and still do think) are based on biblical principles, all those things just aren't going to work with Alaina.

So what do I have to do? I have to put aside the fact that I'm always right (which has become prideful in this case, I'm afraid), and I have to learn to respond to her as she is. What does that look like?

am I really turning into a nut?

Inexplicably, I have been very interested in "health food" lately. Organic food, locally grown food, and the like. I don't know why, but I'm seriously considering starting to buy as much locally grown food and organic food as I can. It's very weird because anyone who has been around me knows that usually I'm all about saving as much money as possible at the grocery store. By no means am I about to get rid of the white flour or white rice or refined sugar in my house. But I am considering making my own jelly and things like that. What happened?

(I think I have too much time on my hands. See what happens when I'm not kept busy?)

not meant to be

If you ever needed more proof that we were meant to live in community, my not-yet-4-year-old Alaina told me again today that she wanted "more than just 3 people at our house." (I'm guessing that count included her, me, and Jadyn. Jared doesn't count yet, I guess, and Joe was at work.) That statement was followed by her telling me that she missed Grandma, at which point Jadyn chimed in "grandpa-ina," which, when translated, is "Grandpa, Azina." And not to leave anyone out, Jadyn then said, "Raj, Wabi."

Apparently I'm not nearly as exciting as my siblings or parents...

(It may sound like I'm whining about the status quo, and I'm really not - it's just that when your 2 small children say things like that, you want to do everything possible to fix it.)

"happy newear!"

...a rough transliteration of Jadyn's version of "happy new year"

A new year is always a little bittersweet for me. Perhaps it's because I love Christmas. It is, to borrow a phrase, "the most wonderful time of the year" for me. It's not that we ever do anything that could be called spectacular. That's just how it is.

At any rate, sometimes it's a little hard for me to accept the fact that when the new year comes, we have to start all over again. I'm not opposed to change. I just don't like circumstances forcing me to change.

But at the same time, a new year is full of new days that are full of potential. This is the first year that I don't have a general schedule of events, which is a little unsettling for me. We don't really have anything planned this year: no major projects, no trips. Maybe all of that will change soon. Maybe God will use this "free time" in my life to teach me something. I don't really think life will stay quiet for long; it never does. But here's to a new year with fewer unpleasant surprises than the last!

"I know what I want..."

Without even understanding the concept of a favorite color, Jadyn has chosen hers. Maybe that's not accurate. Jadyn has discovered hers.

I very clearly remember the day I decided what my favorite color was. I was somewhere in the neighborhood of 6-8 years old, and I was sitting in the red Japanese room at my grandparents' house, and I had noticed that everyone had a favorite color but that I did not. So I picked one. I don't remember the criteria I used to decide (except I knew it wouldn't be pink because it was Azina's favorite and it was such a yucky, girly color), but I chose purple. It seems to fit. (Because I am royalty, of course.)

So this whole thing with Jadyn started last Saturday, as we're getting ready for soccer. Joe put her socks on her, which she correctly labeled "pink." Then she wouldn't leave the house until she had a barrette in her hair, which she has never wanted before. She chose "pink." Yesterday, when asked what color popsicle she wanted, she chose "pink." Last night, she couldn't go to bed until she had the "pink" blanket. (She started crying when I tried to put her in bed. I asked her what she wanted, and she said "pink." Thinking she wanted some pink doll or something from Alaina's room, we headed that direction but stopped when she pointed at the linen closet. I opened it, and she pointed at the pink blanket.) Today, she opened her sock drawer herself and pulled out the pink socks, and when she brought them to me, said, "pink."

Granted, I only have a smattering of knowledge when it comes to child psychology, but I think it is a little odd for pink to be the first color a child can readily identify. I could be wrong.

All that aside, however, I am amazed at the differences that are inherent in each of us. Jadyn was born knowing what she wants and what she likes. I am not like that at all.

I wish I wouldn't have been so self-absorbed growing up, that I could have started to see the wonderful quirks God created in each of us. I am thankful that God is still trying to teach me to see and appreciate the uniqueness of each person, starting with the children he blessed us with.
(Of course, that doesn't mean that I'm not always right still...)

more Studio 60

Head over here to discuss the show (or see what you're missing!) - guest commentary is welcome.

Studio 60

Okay, there is really not enough talk going on about this show. If you missed last night's episode go to nbc.com and watch it right now. I'm not kidding.

If you did see it, you can join me in trying to get people to talk about the show on the Relevant message boards. The Studio 60 thread is here. (You have to register if you want to post.)

If all else fails, I may be forced to start a blog about the show. I even have a whole list of quotes from last night's episode to get me started. And lest you think this is just another TV show, last night's quotes include a lesson on community, on unity, and practically a line straight out of Roaring Lambs.

Seriously, go watch it.

nothing cuter

I was talking to Ravi (the anti-blogging brother) on the phone on Sunday. Jadyn, being Jadyn, is fascinated with phones. I told her Uncle Ravi was on the phone, which amused her, and a few minutes and attempts at pushing the buttons later, her first phone conversation went something like this:

"Please talk to Ravi?" (I'm not making this up.)

"Hi!...Yes...Yes...Bye!"

Apparently, she was responding to whatever Ravi was saying to her.

It's always something with that child...

something new

I did something today that I've never done before and I will probably never do again. It's probably not a big deal to anyone else in the world, but that's why this is my blog.

I had a doctor's appointment today, which is not unusual, but the unusual part was that it was in a doctor's office building that opened today. As in, this was the very first day there were any patients whatsoever in the building. I'm pretty sure there is absolutely no significance in the fact that I was there on the first day that the building was open, except that not everything was working exactly right yet. (For example, there were no directional signs - I got off the elevator and had to wander around the floor to find the right office.)

That's all...nothing profound.

small enough for the weather?

I opened the windows in the house today.

Yes, that sounds like I don't have anything to blog about. But to me that means that God is small enough to care about the weather in my life. (I realize I sound absurd.)

Last year, we literally ran the air conditioner in our house until the middle of December. Everyone I know has heard me complain about the summer here this year, and to be fair, everyone has complained about the summer here this year. So imagine my surprise a couple of weeks ago when there began to be hints of cooler weather - like cool breezes.

Two Christmases ago, there was nothing I wanted more than to be in Omaha for Christmas. That couldn't happen because Jadyn was born 9 days before Christmas that year. But my family came down, which was fabulous. I just really really wanted to see snow that particular Christmas. (For those who may not know, it snows here about once a decade. The last snow had been some 12 years earlier.) Understanding that I sound like a nut, I honestly believe God made it snow overnight that Christmas Eve for me.

So do I think that God made the weather change this year for me? I don't know, maybe. Maybe He's showing me that He is small enough to care about those completely unimportant things in my life. Part of me wonders why God would care about such things. The other part of me wonders why not? And then I wonder if this has anything to do with God teaching me that I do need things from people, that I can't take care of myself by myself, even when I know most people are utterly unreliable. Could God be saying, "Trust me to take care of you - I'm your backup when other people let you down. See, I even changed the weather for you."

(Am I obsessed with the weather? There's a good possibility. But my theory is that people from the Midwest are all obsessed with the weather out of necessity - it is actually that unpredictable.)

my head says it's fall

There comes a point every year when green leaves are offensive to me.

I don't know how the entire world became programmed this way, but everyone and everything starts to move into an autumn/back to school/get ready for winter kind of mode. My personal theory is that God created us to need a change every once in a while, and weather, as minor as it (usually) is, provides an external change that helps my mood.

I will blame it on my midwestern upbringing. This year, however, Starbucks must shoulder some of the blame for the audacity to bring back Pumpkin Spice Lattes when it is still mid-90s with high humidity here. Those things are simply incompatible.

So all of you in normal climates, appreciate pulling out the jeans and sweatshirts for the morning and evening coolness. Drink a Pumpkin Spice Latte and have it actually mean something. Meanwhile, Alaina, Jadyn and I will still be pulling on our swimsuits and heading for the pool.