pop quiz

image by Paul Carlson, from http://sprott.physics.wisc.edu/fractals.htm

What spreads farther, faster, and more insidiously than a virus?

(Because I want to be Ashlee when I grow up, I may just send out a prize for the correct and/or most creative answer.)

seriously?

I'm sorry, but it has to be said.

I have no strong feelings either way about tattoos. I personally would probably never get one, but I don't have a problem with them out of hand. Rather, I just feel that they are not as counter-cultural as some people who get them believe them to be or want them to be. Honestly, it seems to me that tattoos have become downright trendy. (Don't hate me, it's just my opinion from my observation of society.) Here is my proof. Sorry, I couldn't get a picture to load. It's "Barbie Totally Stylin Tattoos." Enough said.

ya gotta be quick!

I'm officially the worst mother ever.

Wednesday night, I (along with my semi-permanent arm accessory) went to dinner with the girls (Ashlee, Tami, and Lisa) for Lisa's birthday dinner. We went to BJ's, it was great! Anyway, this left Joe in charge of the other three children. (They played "Wii!" as Jared informed me the next morning.) So Joe texted me while I was at dinner, informing me that Alaina's tooth, which she had been messing with for a good 4 days, fell out. I texted him back to let him know that I would take care of it when I got home. Well, as it turns out, A.J. has been sick again this week (the weather has gone nuts again), and when he is sick, he refuses to be put down. So when I got home, my primary concern was to quiet him down so we could both get some sleep. Needless to say, I completely forgot about being the Tooth Fairy...until about 7am the next morning as the children were about to get up.

Naturally, I waited to see what Alaina would say. It was something along the lines of a shocked, "The tooth fairy didn't come!" This, of course, required some quick thinking on my part. So in case anyone ever asks, the Tooth Fairy occassionally takes a day off...and makes up for it with two quarters the next night.

just call me Sir Edmund

I wanted to post a picture of Jared's new haircut. But he wouldn't cooperate last night, deciding instead to stick out his chubby little hand and maul the camera lens. (Joe cleaned it, so no harm done.) So here is today's random photo:



Baby smiles make it all worth it.

I did something last Friday that I have not done before. I took all of the children out on a shopping expedition. For most, going to Target is a simple errand - run in, wander around for a while, run out, done. Nothing to write home about. Not so for us! It requires logistical analysis, pit stops, and crisis-aversion skills. Alaina pushes the stroller with A.J., and I put Jared and Jadyn in the cart and push it. (Child containment is the #1 strategy.) Two bathroom stops later, we finish shopping and have to stop for lunch. This kind of shopping trip demands nourishment. We did make it, and we got everything we needed with a minimum of behavioral issues, so it was a success. However, I don't believe I will be making a habit of it anytime soon.

I've decided that Jared compensates for his limited vocabulary through sheer repetition. Have you ever read the book Jacob Two-Two? Well, this is more like Jared Six-Six. I mean, what's the difference, really? As long as you're jabbering away nonstop all day long, who can tell that you don't say that many words? The entire time we were at lunch at Target, all I heard was, "Mama! More b's! Mama! More b's!" A "b," of course, is the generic term for any letter.

We're rearraging our office upstairs. My family can attest to the fact that it was out of control. The trouble is, boys don't stay out of anything. It's a harsh realization to which I've had to adjust. When the girls were little, they typically stayed out of stuff. They didn't bother things that they knew weren't theirs. Jared, on the other hand, wanders around the house looking for things to get into. We have a big chair and a half with an ottoman upstairs, and out of necessity, it is situated next to the railing. The girls have always been careful to sit in it after I told them they could fall out an hurt themselves if they stood. I'm fairly certain Jared has taken to standing in the chair more after I told him the same thing. So, of course, the chair must be moved. As is often the case, this cannot be accomplished until 20 other things have been done in order to have a place for the chair to move into. Have I mentioned that we're going to be looking for a bigger house?!?

miscellany

I have decided blog posts are much more interesting if there is a photo included. So, here is today's photo:


It has nothing to do whatsoever with this post, but it's cute.

I have been completely remiss in mentioning this, but my mom started a blog. Seriously. I posted way back when about how I thought my parents were cool, and so she went and proved it again. It all reminds me of the time I called my grandma and she asked me to hold on because she was on the other line. Technology is way out of control.

The conversation I had with Jadyn this morning:

Me: Jadyn, you can't wear that sweater, it's too warm today.

Jadyn: But I love it!

Me: I understand that, but it's too warm today for a sweater.

Jadyn: But I love my sweater.

Me: (getting a little sterner) Jadyn, you may not wear that sweater today.

She bursts out crying. But there are no tears, so it's really more whining.

Me: Are you seriously crying about the weather?!

Jadyn: (wailing) Yeah!

I'm not sure how she thought she could get away with that in this house...


There's more, I'm just out of time, so it'll have to wait for the next post and random picture.

Oh, and happy birthday Lindsey! :)

inconceivable!

Although it is not even possible, my baby is about to be 6. A two-hands number. I remember being 6 - not vividly, but I remember some of the things I thought and felt. Anyway, enough nostalgia. On to the party!

She asked for a Nutcracker party. (What can I say, she's my kid, it's not a real surprise she's obsessed with Christmas.) I told her there was no way I was doing a Nutcracker cake. I know my limits. So we agreed on Sugar Plum Fairy cupcakes. Believe it or not, it's not all that easy to find ballerina cupcake toppers. So I got creative.


I made tiny gingerbread men out of a thin layer of cake. The tops of the cupcakes are supposed to be the ballerina's skirt. I thought they were cute. I bought a decorator tip set in order to make them, which I'm kind of excited about. Undoubtedly my next endeavor will be more involved.

As it was a Nutcracker party, she directed a meaningful new interpretation of the ballet, in which she also performed the role of, you guessed it, the Sugar Plum Fairy. So that Joe doesn't take my blog away, I will refrain from posting video. (He had a supporting role. Literally.) Jared helped with the scenery.


And then there were presents. Ashlee won.


She's holding her brand new leotard. It's purple with butterflies. Don't believe Ashlee when she tells you she had to buy it for her because I would not. As predicted, though, Jadyn wants one too.

So, here comes 6!

what is it with men and "the godfather?"

Seriously, what is it about children and cat litter that they must intersect at some point?

A couple of years ago, when Alaina and Jadyn were in the vicinity of 3 1/2 and 1 1/2 years old, respectively, the two of them decided to hunt for treasure. . . in the cat litter. But they weren't just digging in the cat litter. No, they were throwing handfuls of the stuff. And as the cat litter is located in the laundry room, they managed to get cat litter not only all over themselves and firmly ground into their hair, but also inside the washer and every other corner of the laundry room. It was gross. Fortunately, they were the only two children at the time, so cleaning them up wasn't major drama.

This morning, when now there are four children, Jared decided it would be a good idea to spread the cat litter from the laundry room into the hallway. Now, I will admit that it was nothing short of a miracle that he wasn't chucking the stuff as hard and as far as he could. He was, however, taking handfuls of cat litter and dropping it all over the laundry room floor and hallway carpet. But it gets better. After removing him and disciplining him and washing his hands, I sent him into my room with the other children so I could go get the vacuum from downstairs. During the 30 or so seconds it took me to go downstairs and retrieve the vacuum, Jared had gone into the master bath, where one of the cats currently lives (long story, not worth it) and picked up the cat litter scoop to play in the cat litter in there. I'm thinking, "Seriously?!? I just spanked him for that!" So once again I removed him and disciplined him and washed his hands, but this time I sat him down against a wall where I could watch him while I cleaned up the mess.

Stay tuned. I'm sure A.J. will have his own exploits with cat litter in a couple of years. . .

what's the "call in sick" number for my job?

All I wanted to do when I woke up this morning was not talk. My throat hurt, I was coughing, and I felt awful. I knew I'd have to deal with the world; I just didn't want to have to talk to it.

And then they woke up.

terrible

I am officially a terrible mother.

For her birthday, Ashlee (I would link to her, but even if I can do that from my phone, it wouldn't be easy) took Jadyn out for a special day. Part of the special day was getting to pick out her own present. Jadyn selected a truly delightful baby doll that makes noise - sucks its pacifier, cries, etc. Fortunately for Ashlee and Jadyn and the doll, it also has a "magic blanket" that quiets the crying instantly.

This afternoon, Jared was playing with this particular baby doll. (He has taken an interest in baby dolls since his baby brother was born.) He put the pacifier in the baby's mouth, but it kept falling out, which made the baby cry. After several attempts at pacifying the baby, Jared just busts out crying. As I'm trying to discern just what has happened, he keeps trying to make the baby stop crying. I can't help but start laughing. The poor kid was so upset that the baby wouldn't stop crying that he has big fat tears rolling down his cheeks (which, of course, makes me laugh harder). I enlist Alaina's help in retrieving the magic blanket from upstairs, as I have my hands full with the aforementioned baby brother.

So we get the baby doll quiet, which helps Jared to calm down. And then the baby starts up, and so does Jared. I am still laughing and hoping this won't be the foundation for a neurosis.

So what have we learned? a) Jared can be a sweet and sensitive boy. b) Crying baby dolls can have their moments as entertainment. c) I probably need to get out of the house more often.

"Jared thinks all the food in the world is his."

- Jadyn, in the car this morning on the way to Alaina's basketball game, as Jared is screaming incoherently about wanting something I neither understand nor could possibly give to him while driving

"Why are you laughing?"

- Jadyn's next remark, to me

a blogging resolution

So, not really. I don't do resolutions. But I am trying something new...blogging from my phone. It's an attempt to blog more frequently, as I know all 2 of my readers are eager for more wit and wisdom from me.

Anyway, blogging from my phone might actually work as it is very conducive to multi-tasking, and while I don't often have an empty lap for my computer, I can usually manage unoccupied thumbs. (I may finally be able to keep up with Ravi at texting.)

I am truly amazed somedays at the difference between being pregnant and not for me. But it's the little things like actually getting something done during the day and feeling like I'm accomplishing something rather than merely surviving that support our decision to be done at four. I'm also fairly confident that each child would not get as much attention as I want them to if we had more.

So we're looking at bigger houses. I know, Ashlee, I said I wasn't moving unless it was out of this state. Well, I changed my mind. I don't really understand how or when it happened, but we've run out of room. I don't really feel like we have an excessive amount of stuff, but apparently the house disagrees. And wouldn't you know it, I'm actually getting excited about the prospect. The idea of having a space for all of my craft stuff and room for our books and a classroom for school nearly makes me giddy. And why else do we have four kids if not to help clean the house?

I've just discovered the most amazing thing about homschooling: seeing Alaina learn something and incorporate concepts she's learned into learning new things. She's learned how to read, for crying out loud. She can write in cursive, and she's developed good problem solving skills (when she chooses to employ them!). It really is amazing to observe firsthand. I know homeschooling isn't for everyone, but I am so glad that we can.

So, any brilliant thoughts on how to do a Nutcracker birthday party?

mile marker 16

I've always felt sorry for people whose birthdays were around Christmas. I mean, how could they possibly not feel gypped? But I've changed my mind since my children were born, as they all have birthdays basically during the holidays. Now I feel like we essentially have one unending party from the end of October (A.J.'s birthday, not Halloween) through the end of January. It's great fun, but it's also a bit of a marathon to plan and execute. I'm not complaining, as planning and organizing is what we OCD types love to do.


One of the events during party season is our annual "Bible Study Baking Extravaganza!" (Yes, that's its actual name. Don't ask me, I don't make this stuff up.) It was started by a dear friend who has since abandoned us for the midwest, but we're not bitter or anything. Baking Day has since evolved a bit, but I'm thankful that we always make the time for it. I'm also very thankful for my friends who are so patient and willing to work with my small(ish) children, even though I know it is not easy! (Have you ever tried cooking or baking with small children? If they don't drive you bananas asking every 3 minutes when it will be time to frost the cookies, then there's the mess.) But my friends are champs and good sports about the whole thing.


Speaking of bananas, as my mom always said, "what goes around comes around." The other night, after asking for a banana and eating half of it, Jared decided that the way I had peeled the bottom half of the banana was simply unacceptable. So he dropped it on the floor. And then, in the midst of his tantrum, I told him to pick up the banana and throw it in the garbage. When I looked back at him a moment later to ensure that he was doing as instructed (as there are three other children and this was not the only thing taking place at that time), I see him noticing a convenient banana-stashing nook under the hutch and beginning to take advantage of said nook. The following things flew through my head almost simultaneously, the last being the one that actually left my mouth:

- Ha! That's hilarious!*
- Where's the camera?
- Wow, it must be genetic or something.*
- Jared Robert! Pick up that banana right now!

*There may be an anecdote about Raj and me and a not-so-silent fruit consumption protest involving stashing a banana under a hotel room bed in India. First of all, it was hilarious, and second of all, I was not going to eat that banana.

Up next: a Clarice birthday party for Jadyn, who couldn't possibly be 4 already, as I'm certain Alaina just turned 4 the other day; a Christmas here and there; some family coming; other assorted events.

gonna walk all over you

"These slippers are made for walking, Mama. ... My slippers are made for walking."

So says Jadyn.

It's a wonder what 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep in one's own bed can do for a person...

a source of frustration eliminated

For a few years now, I have harbored a death wish towards my dishwasher. But it was just one of those things I accepted. It was getting old, it was installed when the house was built, and I didn't pick it out. (Implication: The person who did pick it out had inferior opinions.) However, when it started to not clean the dishes, that's when I wanted to throw it out the window.

If there is one thing I learned from my dad, it is the art of being patient. Though Joe may be snorting as he reads this, I really can be patient. I might be loud and opinionated while exercising said patience, but I can do it. So here's to the practice of patience:


Oh, yeah. I may have sold my soul to Samsung and/or Lowe's. What are you gonna do?

who knew?

It's actually possible there is one decent writer on the staff of SNL. This aired Saturday night, and oddly enough, was pulled from the official NBC SNL site...possibly because there's actual truth in it. But it's funny, so here you go (for as long as it manages to stay on youtube).

addicted

So we just spent the last 5 days without phone, tv, or internet.

It's brutal.

I didn't mind being without the phone; after all, that's what cell phones are for. And usually the phone only rings when telemarketers are calling, so it's not like I answer it anyway.

I sort of missed the tv. It was the first week of new shows, but there's not much worth watching anyway. There is something to be said about the utility of Nick Jr. in the morning, though.

I am completely addicted to the internet. I can't decide if this is a bad thing or not. Part of me doesn't care, even if it's not that healthy. But I felt completely cut off from the outside world, which I don't think is a good thing. Then again, maybe it's inevitable...I've been an internet junkie for nearly 15 years now.

why do they name hurricanes?

The answer we gave Alaina was that hurricanes had to have names to distinguish them. I'm beginning to wonder if it doesn't serve a secondary purpose of personifying them in order to facilitate hating them. Or perhaps, to be less hostile, they need names because they take on lives and personalities of their own.

Just for the record, I am very grateful to have had no damage from the hurricane. Nothing. I am also grateful that we had a place to go to, despite the fact that the hurricane was actually worse there and we should've stayed here. I am very impressed by the way the various governments handled this storm - the reality is that things went just about as smoothly as could be expected.

What I said before Ike hit still stands: hurricanes are like high school girls - all drama.

I have experienced a fair amount of weather phenomenon in my life: ice storms, blizzards, tornado warnings (though no actual tornadoes), tropical depressions, and now a hurricane. Hands down, hurricanes are the worst. I could give you all the reasons why, but I won't. Suffice it to say, the weather on the Gulf coast bites, and hurricanes are merely the epitome of the truly awful weather.

By the way, someone please connect the dots for me, because I can't. Obama canceled his appearance on Saturday Night Live last Saturday because of the hurricane. Uh....? Not like 99% of the people affected by the hurricane could watch SNL on Saturday night anyway...

if you're interested...

One of the most well written articles about Sarah Palin and why she is important to this election and to conservatives as a whole comes from, of all places, the Times of London. If you're interested in reading some of the real story as opposed to the absolutely biased drivel (at best) and downright lies (at worst) of the mainstream media, you can find it here.

Why you should vote for John McCain...

2 words:

Sarah Palin.